Tumblr

you should look at my tumblr instead..ha

http://jaqpeha.tumblr.com/

Time

Friends love you. Family loves you.
Family will always be there for you.
Don't miss out, don't put them aside, appreciate every moment before it's too late.

Been thinking way too much about not taking things for granted lately....

I found out a few days ago that my brother will be in South America for about 10 months. He's going to miss my graduation...
Spent the night at my other brother's house this weekend and was able to have such a great time just having fun. (also got to meet the puppy, Odi!)
Working on a funeral project for my Thanatology class on my cousin, which is forcing me to think about all the great moments and qualities about her.
Spoke on the phone with my grandma today, she was so happy just to hear my voice.

"Lost time is never found again."

Leave

Walk away from the feelings, yet the heart keeps them close.
Letting go of the separation, but held back by the confusion.
Impossibilities the devil, the exceptions love.
Anxiously awaiting.
The emotions are known, looming in the air. Caught on the edge, ready to fall.

Leave the doubt behind. Take the step.

FairyTales

Why do fairytale endings have to ruin it. It just makes waking up to that dream so much harder. You wake up with a smile but then realize the realities.

Conflicted

I was reading "tuesdays with Morrie" today when I was up at the barn and I came across this quote from Morrie that really made sense:
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."
It's a different way of putting it, sort of unique but understandable. The world would be such a better place if people lived by Morrie's standards...

I'm still struck at how you could possibly be mute right now. Any human being would react, but apparently not you. It's actually quite comical to me. haha.
I want to act but then again I don't. You do what you want and I'll just be waiting, patiently.

Super excited for this weekend! USC game with Natalie...bp vs the dads I THINK YES!!
Then boating to Catalina on Sunday to watch Sark swim/bike/run his heart out :D

Distance

It amazes me how you can see someone face to face but at the same time be worlds apart.
It pleases me that last night was reassuring.

This whole weekend was reassuring. Spent a night in San Diego to see Paramore with three of my favorite girls, shared laughs and embarrassment, went out into the open ocean, and talked with a special friend.

Repeat please

Talking

I didn't tell you the full story...the part where we were together. That was the reason I wanted to explain, but I didn't.

I still wear it. They ask me why I still have it, to take it off, but I don't. It's silly and stupid but I don't care. It reminds me of summer and the few times we share.

You surprise me. How you actually listen and point out all the little things. I didn't think you payed attention, but you do.

You

I always want what I cant have...ALWAYS!
I'm missing you so much. No matter how hard I wish, it won't change a thing.
God just come back, please. But you won't, I know you won't, because you cant.
I dream of just resting in your arms, laughing together, being together.

Hopefully I will see you...

Hate

My best friend hates me.
That word kills me.
Too powerful and haunting.
Best friends are supposed to be there for each other. I miss her, I need her, she needs me.
It fell apart over a stupid situation.
It wasn't meant to happen.
It got blown out of proportion.
We have never been like this before, a second chance is all I ask.
I'll wait until she is ready, no need to rush, yet I don't know how much longer I can wait.
I miss my best friend.
for wo

Awake

In less than five hours I will be entering a taxi taking my family and me to the airport.

Usually people have these super obnoxious flight times when they travel across the world...not to Montana.

Two reasons why I am able to wake up at 4:30 am.
1) I get to watch the sun rise
2) I love the airport

I wish I could stay home for just a week longer to spend time with my friends who I never get to see... just twice a year.
For reasons unexplainable it's refreshing to be with them.

Goodbye California, Hello Montana

Once

Last night was a disaster.
I have never been that messed up before.
How stupid was I to think that my parents wouldn't make me drive home. I criticize those people who do it, yet I'm just as bad.
He told me that honesty is key. I should have said something. I didn't want to risk the punishment when the outcome could have been so much worse.
No more worrying, it's through, lesson learned.
But probably one of the best 'family' parties in awhile. Happy 20th Birthday!

Finished

I'm done with all the bull shit

I'm done with all the drama

I'm done pretending that everything is alright

I'm done waiting for you

I'm done acting like the good girl

...............I'm just done...............

Unplanned

Sometimes things don't always go as planned. I didn't make it to Vegas, but regardless it was a nice weekend. I was able to spend over 48 hours straight with a friend who I never really was close with.

"Everything happens for a reason"
This is what gets me through life. My past 3 days have been crazy yet I know what I've learned from it.

I'm still thinking about him...a lot.. I'm counting down the minutes...sadly. Why are boys so stupid? Why don't they ever get it?

Vegas

Just two more days until Vegas with my loves. Roadtrippin it with Ellie, Mykel, and Christina! So stoked to get away for girls nights (plural) Classy asses all day! An partay and partay and partayy!

Impulse

I'm so close to just picking up the phone and telling you how I really feel. You're like a ghost, always coming and going. Why can't you stay. I want to pack up my bags and be with you...